Save Marriage from Divorce

Considering that the divorce rate has been hovering at or above 50% for a long time now, it is worth putting some very serious thought into ways to save marriage from divorce.  Because the couples who fail to do this are the ones most likely to end up as a statistic.  If you want to be sure your marriage has the best chance of surviving and not ending up in divorce court, now is the time to pay attention.  Following are some very destructive behaviors which need to be avoided if you want to save marriage from divorce. 

Keeping score

A marriage is meant to be a true partnership, not a competition in which one or both of you constantly keeps score of what your spouse does or doesn’t do for you.  While light-hearted, playful competition is fun, expecting your partner to give you something or do something for you in return for each nice thing you do for him is destructive to the relationship.  It creates a power struggle and is usually an attempt to control each other.  And it fosters resentment and mistrust; two things that definitely won’t help save marriage from divorce. 

For example, if a husband sacrifices a day of golf with his buddies in order to stay home and watch the children while his wife goes shopping, it looks like a kind deed on the surface.  However, there is nothing truly kind and giving about it if he holds it over her head as a “debt” when he wants something from her in the future.  To save marriage from divorce, doing things for each other must stem from love and caring, not from manipulation, agendas, or “debt”.  When that becomes the case, a marriage is in serious trouble. 

Nagging at your spouse

Sadly, we learn a lot of unhealthy behaviors from our parents.  If you grew up in a home in which one of your parents frequently nagged the other, you may find yourself doing the same thing to your spouse.  And I guarantee you your spouse does not like to be nagged.

Nagging is like water constantly dripping on a rock; over time it slowly wears it down.  The same thing happens in your marriage when you nag.  It slowly pushes your partner away, at least emotionally, creating a rift which can eventually become a chasm too large to repair.  If you are prone to nagging, work on stopping this behavior as soon possible to save marriage from divorce.  

Verbal abuse

Words can be extremely destructive, particularly in a marriage. If you are prone to losing your temper and saying ugly, hurtful or vicious things to your partner, you need to change this behavior immediately.  Verbal abuse will eventually take an emotional toll on your spouse.  While you may feel they are “just words” and forget that you even said them a day or two later, your spouse definitely will not forget. 

The sting of verbal abuse can go deep, and cruel words can be very difficult to forget for the person who is on the receiving end.  If you are having marriage problems and truly want to save marriage from divorce, verbal abuse of any kind must stop immediately. 

These are just a few of many things that can eventually tear a couple apart.  Each behavior is not only destructive, it is also incredibly disrespectful.  If you really desire to have a happy, healthy marriage and save marriage from divorce, ask yourself if you are doing anything destructive to the relationship similar to the above.  If so, do whatever it takes to begin to make some changes.  Your marriage will definitely benefit if you do!