Marriages With Unconditional
Love

In the
middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization.
I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in
the last week that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and
to think of what it was about that relationship that made it
ideal.
A number
of people in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds,
families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with
objects such as their television remote, recliner chair,
diamond jewellery or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these
people, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The
relationships they had with these people or objects was
rewarding and easy to maintain.
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When my
turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my
dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate
ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in
such an enthusiastic fashion. I don’t know of any others that
greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how
long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day
has been. I call this unconditional love.
So what
is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is the type of love that
comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have
for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is
gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to
"real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner
despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your
partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You
know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay.
You still love them. This is unconditional
love.
The same
thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s
faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults.
You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but
that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect
unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections
that people have.
So what
do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to
teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a
lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials
and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues
rule our lives.
But if
you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the
clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come
through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love
will conquer them all.
Have a
think about unconditional love and how you can apply this
realization to your relationship.
You may
be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery!
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