Counseling for Marriage

Many couples reach a point in their marriage when they feel they are at an impasse.   They may have tried to overcome a serious problem or crisis on their own, and realized over time that perhaps getting counseling for marriage problems they are experiencing is a better approach.  And while counseling won’t help every marriage, it does help many couples every day.  For some marriages, it has not only helped, it has kept the couple from ending up in divorce court. 

So, how do you determine if marriage counseling is something you and your spouse should pursue?  You may be thinking that there is no way you want to air your dirty laundry in front of a total stranger, no matter how difficult things are right now.  You may also be feeling that counseling for marriage is far too expensive.  This article will address these two frequent concerns and provide you with some things to consider if you are trying to decide whether to seek professional help for your situation.

I don’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems.

This is a common objection with which many people struggle when the idea of counseling for marriage is being considered.  What you need to realize is that one of the reasons marital therapy can be very helpful is because the therapist, as a stranger, is in a neutral and objective position. 

If you have tried to talk to or seek advice from family or friends, you have probably found that they are too close to the situation to be helpful.  They may have an emotional bias which makes it difficult to keep perspective regarding your situation.  This in turn will color any advice they may try to offer.  In some cases, talking to family members or close friends can make the situation even worse. 

This is one reason why counseling for marriage can be very helpful.  Once you start developing a rapport with the therapist, you will likely appreciate how safe it actually feels to discuss your problems with someone who isn’t going to take sides and who can look at your situation from a fresh perspective. 

Counseling is too expensive.

Therapy does cost money.  You are paying for a highly trained professional to provide a valuable service.  However, you need to consider how much more expensive getting a divorce will be.  For the cost of a divorce, not to mention all the pain and grief that often accompany it, counseling for marriage is usually much less expensive – in fact, often by thousands of dollars.  When you look at it like this you may reconsider the objection that you can’t afford it.  And there may be some options if finances are truly an issue. 

In many cities there are clinics which offer counseling services for a reduced fee either based on income qualifications, or because the therapists are graduate students under supervision.  Also, you don’t necessarily have to go weekly.  You may be able to go every other week, which will make counseling for marriage more affordable for you as you reduce the overall monthly cost by spreading the appointments out a bit. 

Both of these objections to counseling for marriage are very common.  You are not alone if they have crossed your mind.  But if your marriage has reached a crisis point hopefully you will carefully weigh the alternatives if you do not get some help.